


the dead horse

by machogwapito



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment, Johnny's Jr.
Genre: Gen, Pre-Slash, satoshi is stupid and doesn't know how to cheer people up, toma is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 02:58:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machogwapito/pseuds/machogwapito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Arashi debuts, Satoshi speaks to the lone casualty of MAIN. He has no idea why he does it. He has no idea why I-something Toma needs to be spoken to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the dead horse

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know how to write toshi wow kill me????? also this was supposed to be a DRABBLE how did it become mORE THAN 1K WORDS????

When Arashi comes back from Hawaii, there's a lot of fuss as far as Johnny's is concerned. A new group's debuted! There's someone to light the way for the new generation! Even their senpai are thrilled--SMAP gives them some quick tips, TOKIO is quick to tease, V6 is still way too cool for any of them, and KinKi Kids remembers their _names_.

In all the fuss and excitement, Satoshi nearly misses it.

It's at a party held by all their formerly fellow juniors that he sees him: the boy who was left behind, standing in baggy pants and a too-big hoodie, leaning against a wall alone. Satoshi knows Arashi's three youngest were part of a four-man unit, and memory tells him that the kid with the slight eyebrow issue was the I in MAIN.

He can't remember his name. He knows Aiba had mentioned it once or twice, Jun more often, Nino only when he was whining about "how we were". Satoshi accepts that the kid's last name is a mystery; he can't for the life of him pull it out of his ass, regardless of the 'I' clue.

The first name, however, comes to his mind in a Nino-pitched screech and leaves his lips in a careful word.

"Toma?"

Satoshi knows he's right because Toma looks up from where he'd been staring at his held cup of juice. There's a moment's confusion on the kid's face before it turns into realisation, and then, hidden in the corners of those brown eyes, there's the most subtle form of hurt.

"Ohno-kun," says Toma, and a grin forms on his face. "Congratulations!"

Satoshi nods his head. He's received enough greetings, really, and they both know it, but Toma seems to be the type to put his senpai (it's strange being a _senpai_ ) before himself like a good kid. He smiles like a good kid, too. Toma even gets a little embarrassed as he asks, "Do you want juice? I can get you juice--", to which Satoshi shakes his head at.

"I'm fine," he assures him. Toma blinks before nodding his head, and Satoshi doesn't miss how he holds his cup in two hands, this time.

He knows that Toma doesn't know what to say. It's pretty obvious. The party's going on and there's stupidity to be had in all corners of the room, and yet here this good kid is all by himself instead of being an idiot like everyone else. In fairness, Satoshi isn't sure why he's talking to Toma, either. Other than recording a song for that one anime, they never really had the chance to spend time together without the interference of other, closer friends.

Satoshi settles, leaning on the wall beside Toma and slipping his hands into his pockets. Toma turns the slightest bit to regard him, but instead of speaking, his lips touch the rim of his cup once more to take a small sip. It occurs to Satoshi that if he doesn't say something, this whole conversation is going to end up a silent one. But how do you break the ice when you don't even know why you're here to begin with?

Satoshi decides to go with "How are you?"

Toma looks up at him again, and Satoshi wonders if he looks as awkward as he feels. Gathering from the little twitch in the corner of the younger boy's mouth, he figures he probably does.

"I'm okay," Toma replies, nodding his head for emphasis, index finger lightly rubbing the side of his cup.

"Yeah?" Satoshi asks.

"Yeah," Toma affirms.

After that they're both quiet again. It seems to be an awful default state for the both of them. Satoshi wracks his brains for something, _anything_ to say, and fails drastically. Suddenly, he realises he feels obligated to. He feels a necessity to. He knows that it isn't the case, but he can't help feeling like he and Sho completely took Toma's friends away from him. Johnny-san had been cruel, taking everyone in MAIN but little Toma. Satoshi thinks about Arashi being six instead of five, if that might be what Toma is thinking about now.

Does Toma worry he did something wrong? Is he insecure? Afraid? Doubting himself?

Satoshi probably doesn't deserve his spot, what with the fact that he was just about to quit Johnny's altogether. Toma should be in his place. MAIN should have debuted together.

He looks at the slump of Toma's shoulders and swallows hard.

"So... Arashi," Satoshi starts, "is going to release a single soon. Mm. Be sure to listen to it, okay?"

Here, Toma laughs, but it isn't the happy sort of laugh Satoshi expected from him. It's quiet. Polite. And it makes Satoshi's hands shove deeper into his pockets because it doesn't sound _right_ coming from someone who normally smiles so wide. "I'll buy it," Toma states proudly, chest puffing up. "And I'll listen to it so many times I'll break my CD."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Toma smiles in a way that makes Satoshi's chest hurt. He starts to tug at the fabric inside his pants pockets with the tips of his index and thumb, nervous again. Why does he even try?

"I hope... you memorise the lyrics," Satoshi finally mumbles.

Toma blinks at him. "Huh?"

"I want to hear you sing the songs one day." Satoshi nods his head. "Mm. I think... Arashi songs would sound good in your voice."

There's warmth on Toma's cheeks. He laughs and shakes his head. "I don't know--"

"One day," Satoshi cuts him off, "sing a song for me."

Toma stares at him, his hands wrapped around his little cup. Momentarily, Satoshi panics. Was that too straightforward? Too demanding? Did it make him sound weird? It's not often you're obsessed with hearing someone sing a song, right? Not at all. No. Satoshi just messed it all up. Now Toma's going to feel even worse. Satoshi ducks his head down, staring down at his shoes. He's an idiot. He's a huge idiot.

He looks up out of the corner of his eye to gauge how terribly he messed up.

Satoshi is left dumbstruck when he sees Toma smiling, a twinkle in his eyes. There's a happiness there that hadn't been there earlier.

"All your songs are going to be for five, though," Toma offers, taking a large gulp out of his juice and finally finishing the damn cup. Satoshi pauses, furrows his brows, and then gives a light shrug of his shoulders. "... I'm sure you could pull it off with four. You did it with MAIN. Mm. You have the talent."

He watches as Toma's expression brightens even further, and he's reminded very suddenly of the sunrise in winter.

His hands twitch in his pockets with the need to draw.

"Thank you, Ohno-kun." Toma ducks his head, scratching lightly behind his ear. "... you're nice."

Satoshi shakes his head, thinking very carefully before he speaks again. "Arashi will always be on your side."

"You too?"

"Me too."

He can't discern the emotions that flit through Toma's eyes at this point, can't pick them apart. But then Toma grabs hold of his wrist, tugs him, and finally says, "Let's celebrate your debut, Ohno-kun."

In the end, Satoshi learns three things about Ikuta Toma during that party. The first is that the boy is recognised far too little for what he's truly worth. The second is that when he smiles and means it, no-one can ever be more sincere. The third is that Toma really _can_ pull off a five-man song with four, because he slays an SMAP song in karaoke with Hasegawa Jun, Yamashita Tomohisa, and Kazama Shunsuke.


End file.
